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Goodbye, Dear Friend

TODO

Ask friends to send me a photo, a voice memo, etc.

I lost part of myself on Saturday October 28th.

It feels strange to say this about a sweatshirt. Yet it’s true to me.

What got lost?

This one is very hard. It’s nearly intangible. Some of me wishes to say that nothing was lost. I lost a piece of clothing that kept me warm. But the emotions and actions in reaction to losing this piece of clothing suggests otherwise.

In some sense the loss is the one of how I saw myself in the world. Who I was in this case, was a guy who wore a green sweatshirt everyday. One that could be used in the mountains and casually. A piece of clothing that could do so much and do it all well. One that was a quality item.

For me it was a fashion statement of a kind. I don’t need to own any other pieces because this one is perfect for me. I don’t need to impress you with how I look, because I value some degree of minimalism. Supporting local business. Supporting reducing my own waste footprint. I don’t need to impress you with 5 different fancy things to keep me warm, because I only need one. And that one makes me happy.

Every time I put it on there was some joy in it. My body found home in it. It was my home anytime it got cold. It lasted years and years with little wear. Was it perfect. No, but damn did it last a long time.

I have this thing now for quality. I’ve had it for some time, but pieces like this Melanaza sweatshirt epitomize quality for me. Especially at a reasonable price. While not entirely true, sometimes it feels like the whole world has turned into trash. And no wonder why trash is so abundant on this planet. We favor junk over quality, because it’s cheap. But cheap comes at a cost sometimes. This is not to be overlooked.

When everything is mass produced, the handmade things are worth something much more. I suspect this will happen with AI as the tech moves forward. There will be much eaten by AI, but there will also be much more made by hand. A flourishing of non-AI bullshit. Things with taste.

What cannot be lost

• The meaning behind the object. Why I loved it.

• The taste I’ve gained from owning this piece.

  • Understanding Quality

In losing I gained

• Deeper understanding of impermanence through loss

• A push forward in my journey of crafting clothing

  • To build things of equal or more quality and share them with friends

It’s funny when an object becomes such a part of your life that the loss of it causes grief. My spirit intertwined with it.

What’s left are memories. Photos. The imprint of being in my mind and friends minds. The end of an era.

Must move forward. There is a loss. But also an appreciation, and a carrying forward of the spirit inside.

The spirit began with friendship. Owen said I should go to Melanzana in Leadville to get one of these sweatshirts. Made by hand in the US of A. I can appreciate that. Real people behind a real thing. Taking a stance on getting it from them, in the shop they have. No shipping. You want it? Come and get it. Leadville is not the most convenient spot to get to either. This is taste. The people behind Melanzana have taste. Young and impressionable I got to taste what they were serving. Every time I wore it, it was a reminder of the friendship that came with it. Fortunately that friendship is not lost either. That friendship is the same one that set me on the journey to sew things. So I am moving into the next chapter of that journey now.

It’s time to reinvigorate the spirit into a higher form.

Now the spirit lives on. Be it lost in the wilderness, or on someone else’s back. Either is fine with me. It’s gone. I accept. I give in. If it comes back to me, wonderful. If it doesn’t, I fully accept that it’s gone. I cannot live pining for it.