cj

I aspire to grow in various aspects of my life, especially in leadership, aligning with those who lead with integrity and prioritize human values over ego and profit. My growth ambitions also include refining my storytelling skills to effectively communicate my ideas and passions in a compelling way. I seek to surround myself with people who excel in their fields, as their superior skills will foster my own development, whether in leadership, programming, or other areas. As part of my learning journey, understanding the intricacies of running a startup or business, and having hands-on experience, is crucial to me.

Reflecting on life, I've realized that unlike in childhood, life doesn't offer cheat codes, or if it does, they're found in relationships with other people, built on trust and love. As a father, I want to avoid giving my children shortcuts because I believe it's important for their development to face challenges head-on. I recognize that seeking the easy way out can hinder growth, a lesson I've learned firsthand. Going forward, I intend to be mindful of this to ensure both I and my children fully engage in the effort required by life's journey.

The speaker recognizes their tendency to isolate themselves and sees the benefit of reaching out to others for help, as recent calls with Shahrouz and Raphael have been productive. They acknowledge the need to ask for help when stuck and set an intention to improve in this area. They also believe a computer could assist by recognizing their frustration and suggesting actions like meditation or consulting a domain expert like Raphael, potentially advancing their progress.

The speaker reflects on the concept of curation in life, prompted by listening to a conversation between Rick Rubin and Daniel Kaluuya, with a focus on the importance of selecting what we include in our experiences. They consider how being open to discovery is essential, exemplified by their own journey from climbing to slacklining and then to highlining. The speaker acknowledges a personal need for greater openness to new experiences and a desire to be surrounded by people who also embrace this mindset. They believe that being surrounded by open-minded individuals would greatly enhance their life.

The writer expresses how their emotional state fluctuates with the successes and failures of their coding efforts, experiencing a marked improvement when their code shows promise. They note the importance of persisting through challenging times and mention that consulting others with more expertise is extremely beneficial for progress. The writer admits to having only a conceptual understanding of machine learning and expresses a strong desire to deepen their knowledge, particularly in areas like transformer models and mixed experts architectures. The main takeaway from their experience is the value of seeking advice from knowledgeable people, which highlights both the benefits of recognizing one's limitations and the learning that comes from direct engagement with challenges and expert guidance.

"Venting Frustration: The Frustrating Fundraising Video Call"

The speaker conveys their frustration with a difficult fundraising experience, describing a particularly unsatisfactory video call with a fund representative. The caller was in a bad mood, hadn't reviewed the provided materials, and hesitated to engage with the product's features. This led to a tense exchange where the speaker challenged the representative's commitment to valuing founders versus purely focusing on financial metrics. Feeling disillusioned, the speaker is left with a distaste for these disengaged "NPCs" and remains focused on their vision of fostering creative and engaging spaces.

"Finding Fulfillment in Unexpected Conversations"

I fulfilled my 2024 goal of deepening relationships tonight. I rode my bike looking for puddles to splash in after the rain, but found none. Instead, I had a rewarding conversation with Claire and Sam at Ichiban. This interaction was very satisfying.

"Reflections on Making Audio Burrito Posts"

The speaker is reflecting on their experience with making audio burrito posts, noting that it often requires multiple attempts to get into the correct mindset—similar to drafting written posts. They're grappling with the challenge of monologuing without a clear understanding of the audience, as they are aware that at least John and CJ will hear it, but uncertainty about the wider audience affects their ability to communicate effectively. This creates a 'contextual membrane shakiness' as the speaker finds the lack of audience boundaries difficult to navigate, which they recognize may vary among different people. The speaker concludes by deciding to end the current note and start a new one.

"Midnight's Toxic Reflection"

Poison myself with thoughts that are darker than the night.

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